Hiding From Seagulls Read online

  The North Pole

  Raheam looked at us in that impatient way only Raheam could. He had stopped somewhere in the middle of the snowy mountains and was making it clear that this bus went no further.

  “Well,” he said gesturing to the door.

  For someone who met so many people everyday people skills were not Raheam's thing.

  I got off the bus and zipped my coat all the way to the top. The landscape looked cold and bleak. What looked like a snowy winter scene quickly became an endurance test.

  “Santa lives just to the left of that mountain,” the man bear told us.

  Simon shot the man bear down with an awkward sideways glance.

  “What is it son?” The man bear responded coldly, “lost your bottle?”

  Simon shook his head and chose not to take the lead. Rob was rubbing his hands together trying to warm them in what was a practical way of warming up and a way of telling us all to hurry up at the same.

  I led the way in the end again making the decision for our group. I was up front closely followed by Rob, Simon who was chatting to Madeline and sulking on behind them by a good few feet was Ted the man bear. I wondered if he always walked behind us so if trouble did come our way he would be far enough away to either run or deny all knowledge. Whichever it was he made me feel uncomfortable. To me this was our first and only shot at doing something other than running. That seemed important. But it was made difficult by the elderly man-teddy who seemed to be watching our every move.

  Walkway paths were scarce and when we did come across them they were very narrow. Soon we were walking in a valley between two huge mountains. It was hard to tell how long we had spent in the colourless Christmas card landscape because as I mentioned time didn't seem to matter. As we saw more patches of the sky I could see in the distance the black smoke of a chimney.

  Most of us have a mental image of what we think Santa’s workshop should look like. With the reindeer out back and elves working happily. The factory that came into view was little like I imagined. The grotesque grotto stood as imposing and intimidating as any castle could be. I was about to walk right up to the door when the man bears claw stopped me in my tracks.

  “He is not in,” Ted said. “Look the flag is not out.”

  “He has a flag like the Queen?” Madeline replied.

  “Who?” Ted asked sounding quite sincere.

  “Santa Claws has had a flag since the Duchess put him in charge of The North. I'm sure that right now he is out.”

  “Sound's like a good time for us to take a look around then,” Rob responded starting to walk towards the factory.

  “Let's try to get round the back,” I suggested. I hoped that we would go unseen. If we could get inside and find out where the Duchess was without meeting Santa all the better. That had already caused me enough trauma as a kid.

  The factory had a very large back garden complete with more ghastly snowmen and some stables.

  The snowmen were scattered in various horror stricken states. Many looked mutilated in some way or other. One was actually split in half. They formed a surrounding semi circle. Like a boarder to an already horrifying Christmas lights display.

  I peered inside the stable to see the sleeping bodies of two reindeer. They did not look friendly and I was happy that they were sleeping.

  “Looks like they are out of it,” Simon whispered.

  The nearest reindeer to us made a low pitched growl and snarled his teeth. As quiet as the growl was someone in the factory had heard so we dashed behind a stack of straw while an angry looking elf opened the door and began to look around.

  “What is the matter with you today Thunder?” The elf asked as he waddled to the stable.

  “I bet you would love it to be someone trespass wouldn't you Thunder? There is a lot of meat on a trespasser.”

  The elf spoke loud enough for us all to hear and I began to wonder if we had been spotted and were being warned to stay away. The elf took a brief look around before deciding there was nothing of interest going on.

  “The little people are usually friendly,” Madeline said. “Snow White's Dwarves, the Munchkins, even the Um-Pa Lumpas.”

  “Well that little fellow didn't look all that friendly to me,” Simon answered bluntly.

  “Maybe it is time you stopped quoting those stupid books.”

  The man bear interrupted their conversation.

  “All we need is a way in.”

  “The snowmen have eyes,” Rob said.

  I saw instantly that he was right. One of the ghastly looking snowmen indeed had a lens for an eye.

  “Perfect. spying snowmen,” the man bear exclaimed. “We can use the spying snowmen against them.”

  “What do you mean?” Simon asked the bear.

  “Simple. All you have to do is distract them son,” the man bear replied in that voice that always sounded like the oldest and wisest in the universe.

  “I don't trust him,” Rob responded pointing an accusing finger at the bear.

  Once again the group seemed to be awaiting my decision. I began to ask myself if I actually was the leader of the group now. If I was then who had decided and was I up to the job?

  “Well,” I began aware of the eager eyeballs patiently waiting for my decision.

  I took a look at the man bear and shrugged.

  “We have no better ideas,” I offered.

  “I will jump around a bit in front of one of those spying snowmen. When I do that you all sneak in the door.”

  With that Edward the man bear was eccentrically jumping in front of one of the snowmen. He tipped his hat to the mechanical menace. Then he took one of the snowmen’s deformed arms and danced as though the snowman was his dance partner.

  Sure enough after mere seconds of the man bears exhibition he had an audience of ten to twelve evil elves watching his display through their unhappy narrow eyes and their frowning little faces. The man bear had his audience. It was time for us to make our move and cautiously, one by one, we made our way past the sleeping reindeer through the unlocked door.

  Once through the door the place smelled of sweat and oil. I felt a great amount of responsibility as the others looked to me for direction. I never felt like a hero. All I could feel was the grip of responsibility tightening in my chest. The workshop was on two floors. The first floor had a balcony overlooking the ground floor. It was on this ground floor that the elves worked on the electronic chips. Chips that were being fitted to a whole range of digital music players. The second floor looked empty so I decided that route safer. I made a dash for the staircase closely followed by Rob, Madeline and Simon.

  The rooms on this second floor were labelled in similar fashion to the classrooms at school. Most were workshops until the room at the end which was labelled in red with the word Santa. I headed for the door being careful to crouch under the windows of the other workshops and staying far enough left so as not to be seen by the army of elves working bellow.

  “Okay huddle up,” I called to the others.

  “I think it would be best if we went straight into his office and took a look at his papers, or maybe his computer. See if we can get any information on this Duchess,” I whispered.

  The others looked back at me with worry. There was a little nodding which was all the agreement I needed. Slowly I turned the metal door handle in front of me and pushed the door open just a little. But the door was swung wide open and I was staring at the big black boots of the man named Christmas himself. Behind me I could see that the elves had been alerted and had cut off any hope of escape.

  “Look what I got for Christmas,” the not so jolly one chuckled as we stood helpless and exposed.